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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29923584">got more than you gave</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slumber/pseuds/Slumber'>Slumber</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SK8 the Infinity (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background: Reki/Langa, Canon Compliant, Episode 9 spoilers, Feelings Realization, Getting Together, M/M, Past: One-sided Adam/Cherry, Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:21:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29923584</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slumber/pseuds/Slumber</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>“It’s not that bad,” Kaoru says, glad he isn’t looking so he doesn’t see the look on Kojiro’s face at that blatant lie. “I certainly expected something like this to happen.”</p>
  <p>“No, you didn’t.”</p>
</blockquote><br/>Kojiro takes care of Kaoru after his beef with Adam. Kaoru comes to terms.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Sk8 fics!!!</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>got more than you gave</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s still dark when Kaoru wakes, but it takes him a few minutes to reconcile the dark green of the sheets with Kojiro’s bed instead of his, the aches and pangs all over him—his shoulder, his head, the bridge of his nose, his knee—with last night’s memory, the sliver of light beyond the curtain with the faint glow of the time on the clock next to him, blinking 1:14 PM, his glasses resting right in front of it. </p><p>At least it’s on the left side of the bed. Gingerly, he reaches out, and even that causes complaints to swell up along parts of him that haven’t fully knitted back together yet. With a wince, he succeeds only in knocking the clock off the table, clattering with a loud <em>thud</em> on the floor that rings through his ears, causing a sudden throbbing in his head.</p><p>“Guess that means you’re up,” Kojiro says, poking his head in. Kaoru can’t really tell—there’s certainly a roughly Kojiro-shaped blur around a halo of light where the door’s supposed to be, and that’s at least his voice. “Could’ve called for help.”</p><p>“You should be at work,” Kaoru points out. </p><p>Kojiro walks in, closing the door shut behind him so that it stays as dark as before. He bends over to pick up the clock, then carefully places Kaoru’s glasses on him. He’s coming into clarity, eyebrow raised, warm red eyes on Kaoru, when he replies. “Took the next couple of days off. You’re not in any state to be left alone.”</p><p>“Don’t be stupid,” Kaoru says, frowning. “I’m fine, Carla’s—”</p><p>“Currently been turned into a wheelchair, yes, but you can barely pick up your glasses let alone move yourself from bed to Carla. You <em>know,</em>” he adds, crossing his arms and shaking his head at Kaoru, “there’s a reason the hospital put you on bed rest?”</p><p>Kaoru tries to turn his head away, but the movement is too much to handle. He settles for flickering his gaze down. “You helped me get out anyway,” he mumbles, and it’s hard to keep the petulance out of his tone. And so what? Kojiro <em>did</em>. Where does he get off acting like his mom all of a sudden?</p><p>“You’d have tried even without my help,” Kojiro says with a snort. And then, softer: “I’ve had enough of seeing you get incapacitated for a night.” </p><p>“It’s not that bad,” Kaoru says, glad he isn’t looking so he doesn’t see the look on Kojiro’s face at that blatant lie. “I certainly expected something like this to happen.”</p><p>“No, you didn’t.” Kojiro sighs, pulling himself back up to stand. “We’ve never skated against him like this.”</p><p>“We’ve seen enough, though. We knew what he was like—”</p><p>“He’s never skated against us like this,” Kojiro amends. There’s something careful about the way he’s speaking, quiet and gentle instead of the usual brash screaming Kaoru’s accustomed to. Maybe it’s for Kaoru’s sake, the way the thick curtains and the dark room are. But there’s a weight to it too, and the words sound heavy and weary. “You didn’t think he would.”</p><p>They were special, Adam had said, and in the glimmer of moonlight it had felt, to Kaoru, like a promise.</p><p>“Now I know,” Kaoru says. “Heard him loud and clear.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The first few days are a constant battle—not with Kojiro, but his own ruined pride. </p><p>Because Kojiro was right: there’s scarcely anything Kaoru actually <em>can</em> do in his current state. The concussion comes and goes, regardless of how long the room stays dark or the noise is kept to a minimum, but it definitely turns into a raging beast when there’s so much as a glimpse of sunlight slipping through the gently fluttering curtains, or a sudden loud noise from outside. </p><p>Kojiro keeps him company while he’s awake, bringing meals that he sets on a tray. Kaoru’s left hand does some of the work, right arm still out of commission, but Kojiro doesn’t even make a smartass comment when he holds a bite of rice up for Kaoru to take, and quietly feeds him the rest.</p><p>He spends the afternoon on chores, sometimes keeping Kaoru company, sometimes letting him rest, but he returns in the evening, when it’s darker everywhere else, to carry Kaoru to the bath. </p><p>“I—” Kaoru says, realizing what’s about to happen the first day it did, knowing full well he hasn’t got any better solutions to present. “You don’t have to—”</p><p>“Then who would?”</p><p>The inside of the bathroom is warm, but that’s not what makes heat rise in Kaoru’s cheeks. “The hospital—” he mumbles, but that doesn’t change this feeling, the helplessness of having someone else do this to him— </p><p>“You’re gonna make me take you back?” Kojiro asks. </p><p>“No,” Kaoru says, shutting his eyes. “I—”</p><p>“If you want,” Kojiro says, “you can just soak in it for now. Okay?” </p><p>It would have to do. “Okay,” Kaoru says, letting Kojiro set him down—he makes sure to rest his weight on his good leg, one hand on Kojiro’s shoulder for balance—and disrobe him before he’s carefully lifted back up again, then lowered into warm water. </p><p>“Hold on,” Kojiro says, holding Kaoru’s hair up. Kaoru can barely feel it when he pulls out the tie—he must have held it to make sure it doesn’t tug against Kaoru’s scalp—twisting it up into a loose bun he sets atop his head. “Does it make your head hurt?”</p><p>“No, this is fine,” Kaoru says, water sluicing in gentle waves around his body. He wants to gather his knees close to him, maybe submerge the rest of him beneath, but his cast needs to stay above the water line and Kojiro’s already seen enough pathetic behavior from him. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Anytime,” Kojiro says, and Kaoru believes him.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kaoru makes Kojiro return to work when he regains enough strength to take a few steps unassisted, when the headaches have subsided to more of an echo. </p><p>“I’ll have Carla call you if something happens,” Kaoru promises. “It’s, what, thirty feet away from the restaurant? I’m <em>fine</em>.”</p><p>“She better,” Kojiro says, then sits and watches as Kaoru inputs the emergency command himself. </p><p>But he leaves the rest of the house shrouded in light-blocking curtains, Kaoru comes to discover, when he wanders out on his first full day alone, letting Carla navigate her way to the kitchen. It’s just dim enough he can see where he’s going, but the light won’t necessarily hurt his eyes. There’s a sticky note on the fridge, set at eye-level so Kaoru can see it. On it, Kojiro’s abysmal scribbling: <em>lunch and dinner in here</em>, it says. <em>bottom shelf. disabled the light for you.</em></p><p>It isn’t hard to open the lunch box, one layer filled with rice balls that, Kaoru finds, are perfectly fine to hold with his left hand. There’s water in bottles with loosened caps in the fridge, too, but only decaffeinated teabags next to a mug on the counter, along with a smug reminder—<em>doctor’s orders, don’t even <span class="u">think</span> about trying to get any other kind</em>—left beside it. Everything he needs, otherwise, is within reach.</p><p>“Carla,” Kaoru calls out, making her send Kojiro a scathing message so he knows exactly the depth of his displeasure. </p><p>He’d probably only laugh, truth be told, but the thought makes Kaoru smile, all the same. He can’t believe that ridiculous oaf knew exactly what he’d try to do on his first day alone, and planned for it.</p><p>But Kojiro always did know his tendencies best.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kaoru hadn’t heard Kojiro the first few times he called. He didn’t hear him at all, truthfully, until he was skating right next to him, a strong hand clasping his arm. Kojiro’s eyes are wide and terrified, the wind whipping through his wavy hair, and bathed in moonlight even his sun-kissed skin looked pale. </p><p>“What are you doing?” he asked. “This road’s still under construction.”</p><p>Kaoru knew that. The city had started working on the pipes in it but funding ran out a few months ago, tied up in some scandal or other. There was a hole the length of a classroom in the middle of it and last week, Adam had shown Kaoru and Kojiro how he gathered enough momentum to sail the distance. </p><p>“Kaoru!” Kojiro called again, and without quite meaning to, Kaoru slowed down. </p><p>“I could do it,” Kaoru said, clenching his fist and keeping his gaze to the empty road ahead. In the distance, the white and red of the stop sign reflected the moonlight. “I was going at the right speed until you—”</p><p>“You’re going to be mad at <em>me</em>?” Kojiro asked, the anger in his tone new. “Tanaka broke his damn <em>bones</em> going after Adam last week, and, what, you were going to wait until someone found you at the bottom of that hole?”</p><p>“I had the right <em>speed</em>,” Kaoru bites out, yanking his wrist out of Kojiro’s hold. “I’d calculated the right distance, I had enough momentum. I could have made it. I <em>would</em> have made it.”</p><p><em>Oh, guess not</em>, Adam had said, his head tilted when he turned to see Kaoru and Kojiro had remained on the other side, frozen in place by Tanaka’s pained cry and the chilling crunch of breaking bone that echoed around them. But he’d barely given Tanaka a look, and his words held in them a layer of disappointment. Then he’d waved, dismissive, and skated on. </p><p>“Was it fun for you?” Kojiro asked now, his eyes blazing with fury. “Figuring all of those numbers out? Telling us you had errands so you could sneak out night after night, doing test run after test run to see how far you’d make it?”</p><p>“You were following me?”</p><p>“I had to!” Kojiro snapped. “Look at you, Kaoru—you’ve barely slept, you’ve barely eaten, you’re <em>obsessed</em> with these calculations about making a stupid jump that could kill you—” </p><p>“Stop it,” Kaoru told him, jerking back when Kojiro pressed a palm to his chest.</p><p>“Your heart’s racing,” Kojiro said. He dragged his hand down Kaoru’s arm, held his palm up to Kaoru’s. “Your palms are clammy. Your pupils are blown. Tell me it’s not because you’re terrified, and I’ll get out of your way.” </p><p>Kaoru pulled back, arms falling to his sides, glad for the curtain of hair that covered his face when he looked down. “I wanted to show him I could do it,” he said. To wipe that disappointment off Adam’s face. “I wanted to—”</p><p>“It’s <em>insane</em>, Kaoru,” Kojiro said. “Adam won’t stop being our friend just because we didn’t want to do one dumb trick with him.”</p><p>Kaoru wasn’t sure about that. But with the way Kojiro said it, he also couldn’t say so without making it sound like Adam was— “You’re right,” he said. “He wouldn’t.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kaoru’s only thinking about the mission on hand (a quick run to Sakurayashiki Calligraphy to pick up some things while Kojiro was at work) and how to execute it with minimal disruption (Kojiro’s least gaudy pair of sunglasses, a wide-brimmed hat, an umbrella, the route entered into Carla’s GPS so he could keep his eyes closed for most of the way there, in the afternoon when it would be the cloudiest), so he’s caught off-guard when he runs into Reki, who’s just coming out of Dope Sketch and who, tactlessly, squawks at the sight of him.</p><p>“CHERRY!” he yells, loud enough Kaoru’s sure Kojiro must have heard all the way down the road. “Oh my god, are you okay?”</p><p>“Loud noises aren’t advisable at my state,” Kaoru tells him with a wince. “I’d suggest you keep your voice down in the future.”</p><p>“Shit, sorry, I—here, let me help you.”</p><p>“Carla can run without assistance,” Kaoru says, too little, too late. Reki’s gone over to helpfully push, anyway. “I’m surprised you haven’t heard, actually. Weren’t you there?”</p><p>The words are out of his mouth before he remembers what Kojiro had told him, and he feels almost sorry for the way Reki abruptly stops. “I didn’t—it was Adam, wasn’t it?”</p><p>“He gets the best of us,” Kaoru murmurs. “I’m sorry. I forgot you were—”</p><p>“Who does he skate against next?”</p><p>“Do you mean Adam? Or—”</p><p>“No. I don’t really—”</p><p>“The skaters are drawn by lots,” Kaoru tells him. “We won’t find out until the next round. You ask a lot of questions for a quitter.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Ko—Joe told me,” he says. “Come to think of it, it’s a little early to be out of uniform. Did you quit Dope Sketch too?”</p><p>“So what if I did,” Reki asks, the challenge hard to miss in his tone.</p><p>“Then it means you’re free to help me with a few things at my shop, no?” Kaoru asks. “I could, quite literally, use an extra pair of hands. I’ll pay you the wage I’d have given my part-timer, had I ever managed to hire one.”</p><p>“You don’t gotta,” Reki mutters after a moment’s quiet.</p><p>“Don’t ever do any work for free,” Kaoru tells him as they enter the studio, Reki locking up behind them. Kaoru has him running around as he tries to remember where he’d kept the things he needed, and if there is anything else he should get while he can. That’s what makes it take a while, but it would have certainly taken Kaoru a lot longer had he been left to his own devices.</p><p>“This is a lot of stuff,” Reki says as he slings the tote bag Kaoru had brought with him over his shoulder. “I’ll take it back with you.”</p><p>Kaoru hesitates. “I’m near <em>Sia la luce</em>,” he admits, though perhaps Reki would not understand what that meant. “I appreciate it.”</p><p>“No big,” Reki mumbles, and he even holds the umbrella up to keep Kaoru shaded as they make the trek back. He says nothing more, though, and while usually Kaoru would have preferred it that way— </p><p>“It’s a shame about your boards,” he says. </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“If you’re quitting.” Kaoru turns his head slightly. “I’m assuming you’ll stop making boards too.”</p><p>Reki just makes a noncommittal sound—it’s hardly an answer. It certainly doesn’t leave Kaoru much to work with. He bites back a sigh. <em>Teenagers</em>.</p><p>“The one you made for Snow was nothing like I’d seen before,” he continues. “Even I wouldn’t have thought to do something like that. The toe clips, the rotating wheels—”</p><p>“I was just trying to fit them in a way that worked for how he knew how to skate,” Reki mutters.</p><p>“Were you?” Kaoru asks. “I wouldn’t have bet it was possible. Do you know how different snowboarding and skateboarding actually are?”</p><p>“I mean—”</p><p>“You drew out everything he could do on that board,” Kaoru says, just as they reach <em>Sia la luce</em>. “I just wonder what your own would have looked like.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Well. You were a skater too, weren’t you?” </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Kaoru didn’t take to skateboarding naturally. He didn’t have the predisposition for it, not the innate daring nor the physical talent and coordination for it to have come to him instinctively. He’d been briefly wary, in all honesty, the day Kojiro brought a skateboard out to the park across their building, eager to show him this new thing. But that feeling vanished for the five seconds Kojiro stayed on the board, eyes lit up, mouth pulled to the widest grin Kaoru had ever seen him wear.</p><p>“Kaoru, look!” he said, glancing up at the same moment the skateboard rolled forward and Kojiro stayed where he was, the world pulled out from under him so he fell on his ass.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Kaoru asked, rushing to his side, but the laugh Kojiro let out was delighted.</p><p>“Did you see? Did you see? That was the longest I’ve stayed on it!” he exclaimed, turning big honey-red eyes at Kaoru. </p><p>“Can I go?” he asked, because whatever Kojiro felt on the board, whatever it was that made him look the way he did just then—Kaoru wanted to feel it too.</p><p>Kojiro held his hand, the first time he tried. And Kojiro tumbled down with him, the first time he fell just a second later. They spent that afternoon falling, and as soon as Kaoru got home he looked up as much as he could to figure out the best way to stand, the best way to fall, all the little tricks and cheats so he could, over the years that followed, make up with understanding what he lacked for in skill, learning the theory behind skating so well he could sometimes fool himself into thinking he came into skating as naturally as breathing.</p><p>Kaoru was always going to end up developing Carla, especially the part of her that guided his skateboard. But meeting Adam was what urged it on, what introduced him to a new level of skating he knew he couldn’t reach by will and guts alone. </p><p>Adam had that effect on people, that magnetism and raw talent and audacity to push skating past its limits. To push people past theirs. He had a different kind of look on his face when he skated, the curve of his smile a knife’s edge. </p><p>But he smiled like he was sharing a secret, and he skated like he was in love, and Kaoru had felt special, to be allowed to see something like this. Like Adam. </p><p>It was irresistible in a different kind of way—a dangerous kind of way. </p><p>And Kaoru had never been cut out for it.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It’s well after dinner when Kaoru heads over to <em>Sia la luce</em>. He’d have been perfectly fine waiting for Kojiro—who is definitely running late but hasn’t texted him why yet—but the summer storm that started about an hour ago hasn’t let up, and Kojiro didn’t take his umbrella with him. And though it isn’t actually that far from the restaurant to his apartment, Kojiro has also always been notoriously susceptible to summer colds, like the perfect idiot he is.</p><p>Kaoru can barely stay dry himself under this kind of torrential downpour, but he rolls Carla over to the back entrance, finding it at least still open and letting himself in just as a clap of thunder roars overhead. </p><p>“That’s gonna be fun,” he murmurs to himself, staying by the threshold so he doesn’t have to streak wet marks all over Kojiro’s restaurant. He’s about to call for Kojiro when he hears what sounds like muffled conversation, Kojiro’s familiar timbre responding to someone Kaoru can’t quite make out. </p><p>“—doesn’t hate you,” Kojiro’s saying. It’s indulgent and kind in a way that sounds different from when he’s flirting, and Kaoru lets out a breath he doesn’t realize he’s been holding, loosening his grip on Carla’s arm rest. </p><p>“How do you know?” comes the reply—Langa.</p><p>“I just know,” Kojiro says. “He could never hate you.” </p><p>“He hates that I wanted to skate against Adam,” Langa says, sounding utterly miserable. “I don’t even want to anymore. I just thought he’d get it, but—”</p><p>“He didn’t,” Kojiro finishes for him. “I’ve heard this one before. You didn’t listen when I told you the guy was dangerous. But sometimes you have to see it for yourself. He’ll draw you in and leave you hollow. Doesn’t feel like it at first, of course. It’s just that no one skates like he does. It’s hard not to get pulled in.”</p><p>“How do you—” Langa starts, then stops. Tries again. “How did you not?”</p><p>“I wonder why…” Kojiro chuckles.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I hope you didn’t give that underaged boy wine,” Kaoru says when they get back to Kojiro’s apartment, just as Kojiro says, “You didn’t have to pick me up from one building over.”</p><p>Kaoru sniffs. “He didn’t have an umbrella, either. And he lives farther away. It was fortuitous of me to have come over and given him the extra, or you two would still be waiting this storm out.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, he’s not walking home drunk,” Kojiro assures him. “I’m gonna go run you a bath; it’ll be a pain if you caught a cold on top of everything else too.”</p><p>“You need one more than I do,” Kaoru says, watching Kojiro head for the bathroom and noting how the entirety of his back was drenched, the thin fabric of his shirt plastered wet against skin. “You can go first. I’ll wait.”</p><p>“It’ll take some time for the water to run, anyway,” Kojiro says, emerging from the bathroom shirtless. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Positive,” Kaoru tells him, glancing away. </p><p>Kojiro shrugs. “Suit yourself.”</p><p>He doesn’t take long in the bath, though, and Kaoru doesn’t have to wait much more before he’s getting lowered into the tub himself, water much warmer against his rain-cooled skin. Kojiro pulls his hair up like he has before, with the loose bun on his head, his movements gentle and practiced as he helps wash him clean, nothing but the sound of a summer storm raging outside, the soft lapping of water against porcelain echoing against the bathroom tiles inside.</p><p>“So,” Kojiro says when enough silence has passed. “How much did you hear?”</p><p>“How much do you want me to have heard?”</p><p>Kojiro laughs, a huff of breath that tickles the back of Kaoru’s neck. “That’s always been up to you, Kaoru.” </p><p>“I think I’m done with the bath now.”</p><p>“…Alright.” </p><p>Kojiro helps him up, holds one end of the towel while Kaoru dries himself off one-handed with it, steadies him as Kaoru slides his good arm through the sleeve of his yukata, then the other. Lifts him up like he weighs nothing, arms beneath Kaoru’s knees and back, Kaoru’s arm slung over his shoulder. </p><p>It’s a short trip from bathroom to bedroom, but it feels like eons pass before they reach it, before Kojiro lays Kaoru down on the bed. </p><p>“Kojiro,” Kaoru says, grabbing him by the wrist before he could leave. </p><p>“I’m just gonna set the futon up.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Kojiro raises an eyebrow, his gaze falling to where Kaoru’s still got a hold on him. “So…”</p><p>“I just.”</p><p>“Kaoru.”</p><p>“Don’t leave me alone,” he whispers, tugging Kojiro down so he could meet his gaze. He reaches out, cupping Kojiro’s face in his palm, thumb grazing over the apple of his cheeks, his palm rough with the faint stubble of his jaw. The curtains are still drawn, so he can scarcely see much, but the edge of his thumb catches the corner of Kojiro’s mouth, feels the part of his lips. “Don’t ever leave me alone.” </p><p>Kojiro’s hand, when it covers Kaoru’s, is warm, and his lips are soft velvet when he presses them to the inside of Kaoru’s wrist. His gaze is irrepressibly fond—Kaoru pulls him in, mirroring his hopeless smile as his forehead rests on his—and his voice is tender when he answers. “When have I ever?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated ♥</p><p>If you liked what you've read, you can <a href="https://twitter.com/slumberish/status/1369008717551796243">share the tweet here</a>. I've also been writing <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slumber/pseuds/Slumber/works?fandom_id=52382346">Matcha Blossom fic</a> lately.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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